Put Your Oxygen Mask on First

I laid in bed, not wanting to face the day. 

“Are you getting up?” my husband asked.

“Yeah.  In a minute.” I replied, knowing that whether I got up or not was questionable.  Over the past few weeks, I had been feeling fatigued and overwhelmed, but this morning was even worse.  I had been up all night worrying about my daughter, playing out all of the worst-case scenarios in my head, and wondering what I could do to help her.  Couldn’t things be easy for once? Why couldn’t she just turn in her homework, at least attempt to do her chores, and for goodness sake, stay out of trouble?

I knew why.  Like me, she had ADHD.  She often forgot to complete homework assignments, and when she did complete them, she forgot to turn them in.  She couldn’t get her chores done, because there were so many other interesting things to distract her along the way, and she was constantly getting in trouble for impulsively responding to us and her teachers.  The child had no filter what-so-ever.  I wished I knew how to help her.

I needed to do something before I snapped – for my sake and for the sake of my family.  I wondered what would happen if I ran off to live on a deserted tropical island where no one could find me…

Anyone who’s been on an airplane has heard, “put your oxygen mask on first” before attempting to help small children with theirs.  This concept is important, but all too often forgotten when we are raising ADHD children.  We get so wrapped up in taking care of our children that we forget to take care of ourselves.  Parenting, in and of itself, is stressful, but when you add an ADHD child to the mix, that stress is intensified.  WARNING: Neglecting self-care can and will eventually lead to overwhelm and burnout.  When this happens, we have lower tolerance to frustration, and it becomes even more difficult to address issues, plan, and problem solve.  Some parents begin to react from an emotional state, while others tune everything out.  Be honest with yourself, how is this benefiting you or your child? When you’re overwhelmed or burnt out, can you react in a calm, rational, supportive way? Probably not.  More than likely, you will begin to feel frustrated, if not angry or resentful towards your child.

This is why self-care is so incredibly important.  As parents, we need to make sure we are eating right, exercising, and getting enough sleep.  It is also important to schedule some “me time” to recharge your batteries.  If you’re thinking, “But I don’t have time!”, I challenge you to ask yourself whether you can afford the alternative.